How We Grow

‘If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?’
––Rumi

Growing is a part of being alive.

If we’re not growing, we’re dying.

Usually, much of growing happens automatically, without any effort on our part.

But sometimes, growth demands that we put in effort.

And that’s when we truly grow.

This sort of growth affects us physically, mentally and spiritually. It changes us at a deep level.

It is often uncomfortable–painful, even.

But the level of growth we can achieve, usually matches the level of pain we experience.

The ego doesn’t want change. And the ego doesn’t want pain.

So, we have to put in lots of effort in order to overcome the resistance that the ego is experiencing in the situation.

Yes, we need the ‘hard’ qualities like determination and grittiness to handle these situations.

But because we have to overcome the ego (which only understands control and domination), we also need the ‘soft’ qualities like patience, humility and surrender to get the job done.

And that’s how we grow.

We grow when we keep trying, even though everything inside us wants us to give up.

We grow when we choose to stay, when we want so much to run away.

And we grow when we learn to handle the pain of the situation and stay with it, trusting that it will end at some point, and that something good will come out of it.

As the saying goes, it’s the pressure that creates the diamond.

What makes all of this possible (and is interestingly, also the thing that helps us to grow the most) is when we learn to see the uncomfortable situation as an opportunity for our growth and evolution––to see it as something ‘good’ and not as something ‘bad’.

This is mental and spiritual alchemy.

We’re taking something difficult and painful, and through our effort, we’re transmuting it into something good, and birthing the new and better version of ourselves that we’re meant to become.

As lofty an idea as this might be, I can’t in all sincerity say that I wish this for myself or another.

But life can and does still send these opportunities our way from time to time.

So what I can, and do wish, is that whenever this happens, we can recognise the opportunity and rise to the occasion; that we can go through the difficult times with grace and humility and come out the other side as victors.

And remember, as the spiritual teacher Bashar says, some situations and life lessons are pre-determined by our Higher Self.

And we may have to endure passing through a dark tunnel from time to time, as a result.

But even then, we still get to choose whether we crawl our way through, or skip and dance instead.

So, happy dancing!