believe

‘Trust the process.’

When I first heard this phrase, I recognised it as a truth I’d heard being expressed in many different ways, in the past.

But this time, it jumped out at me. Here, it was being expressed in simple, universal terms that resonated deeply within me. It immediately offered me a huge sense of comfort and it made me think on my life and about all the wonderful things that came about in strange and magical ways.

Looking Back and Connecting the Dots

Although my wife lived in London, while I lived in Colombo, we were destined to meet. She was delivered, almost to my doorstep. The odds against this happening are nothing short of staggering, and yet, it happened.

How did I end up writing? It’s not because I wanted to become a writer – at least, not at the beginning. I came to it by learning about internet marketing, which taught me about making websites and blogs… and here I am.

As Steve Jobs said,

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

So trust that they are there; the dots, the reasons and the coincidences; the unexpected twists and turns; and the spectacular gifts at the end of it all. All different parts of ‘the process’.

The Calling

Although we may not see the connections or realise the direction our lives are taking, we can trust that something higher than our ego minds is guiding us.

Call it God, Universe, Higher-Self, or by any other name you prefer, but remind yourself that It is still there. And It is still calling you.

For me, this call has come in the form of writing, and more recently, in the form of weight training.

I can give you the many reasons as to why I think both are good ideas. And I can tell you the many ways in which they might benefit me. But I can’t give you the real reason. I can’t explain the strong irresistible and irrational pull; the need I feel to do these things. They’be been calling me for a while and they’re still calling.

And so, after much hesitation, I finally summoned up the courage to dive in. I’m still relatively new to both fields. And, it is only now, after much struggle, that I’ve been able to commit to working consistently in both these areas.

Doing the Work – the Answer to the Calling

For the most part, it feels good. I’m putting in the work and enjoying it. I know that I have a long way to go, but that doesn’t bother me so much. I’m too busy reveling in the fact that I’ve started and that I’m being fairly disciplined and sticking to it. These things didn’t come easily to me in the past.

You see, throughout much of my life, I shied away from work and effort. And as a result, I didn’t achieve anything significant. I always did just enough to get by and my results were always mediocre. This bugged me from time to time. Goofing off and messing around was fun, but it came at a price. Deep down I knew that I was capable of a lot more. I knew that I’d sold myself short. That hurt. And it hurts a lot more now, as I approach middle-age.

Now, I live with the constant fear of dying without having made any significant contribution to society and to the upliftment of mankind; with no one remembering who I was. I’m haunted by the vision of deep regret as I lie on my deathbed.

I also worry about the example I’m setting for my young and impressionable daughter. She’s so bright, so intelligent, and so clever. She’s capable of so much and there is so much I want for her. But then I realise what I could have done, but chose not to. And I can’t help but fear that she too might turn out like her Dad, and squander her gifts and talents.

But then, I remind myself to trust the process.

I remind myself that I’m far from dead and that there are reasons why my life turned out the way it did, that I don’t even know about, let alone understand. But I know there is a plan.

My soul or inner spirit is in charge. Not this petty ego.

All is well and all is proceeding according to plan. And at this moment, I very much alive and well and doing what I know I need to do.

The same goes for my daughter. She is her own person and I’m not the only influence in her life. She is so well attuned to her inner-guidance and is finding her way in life with a strength and a sense of confidence that I have come to respect and admire.

So I tell myself to relax and trust the process.

Dealing with Doubts and Fears

Every now and again I see myself in the mirror and panic, thinking I look the same as I did years ago. But then I calm down.

I remind myself that I chose strength training over bodybuilding. I remind myself how the program that I’m on requires me to lift a little more weight at each session, and how I’ve managed to do that without fail so far. And I know I’m getting stronger. I’m feeling good. So I know it’s working.

I remind myself that this is not about the way I look, but more about things like joint health and retaining lean mass; it’s more about promoting bone density and testosterone production. It’s about building a solid foundation of strength that I can carry into other pursuits. And it’s about being able to play with my grandchildren.

And then I have to admit to myself that this is all in process. I know I feel different than before. And then I calm down and admit to myself that if I’m being honest, the guy in the mirror is looking slightly more buff.

I choose to trust the process.

And every now and again when I panic about the whole writing thing, I remind myself that I can keep doing this for as long as I’m alive. I can learn, grow, improve and continue to produce work for years and years to come. I’m only just getting started. And the important thing is that I have started. I’m doing the work – every day. I’m waking up early, when I don’t have to; when it’s cold and when my body is sore and aching from the gym session of the day before. I am writing.

All of this has a purpose.

I trust the process.

When I wonder when the results will begin to show and if any of this is worth it.

I trust the process.

And I remind myself that the old nagging feeling I used to get when I wanted to do these things, but didn’t, is no longer there. It ‘s been replaced with the enthusiasm to engage in the work, and with the knowledge and expectation, that good things will come of this.

I trust the process.

Now You

So, if you ever find yourself worried or anxious about what’s going on in your life. If you feel uncertain about the route it’s taking, remember to trust the process.

Do what you can. Ask yourself ‘Am I doing everything I can to change things for the better?’ Start putting in the work that you see before you and keep going day after day.

And just trust the process.