‘You can either be a host to God or a hostage to your ego. It’s your call.’
––Dr. Wayne Dyer
Spiritual teachers, including Abraham and Bashar, teach that each of us is actually a blending of two beings.
There’s the human being, with its ego mind, on the one hand; and then, the soul, or spiritual essence, on the other.
Why You Should Care About the Relationship Between Your Ego and Soul
Understanding the relationship between these two selves, and learning to harmonise and strengthen the connection between them, is key to creating a happier and more fulfilling life experience.
The alternative is to work much harder at life, only to get much less than we want, and to experience all the anger, frustration and heartache that comes with this.
Now, let’s take a look at some of the differences between the soul and the ego and how they work together.
Two Points of Awareness
The first thing we need to understand about the relationship is that both beings are separate points of awareness.
The ego has a narrower awareness and is focussed primarily on its human existence.
It is concerned about its physical survival and wellbeing, and takes a relatively short-term view of things (because it sees its lifespan as limited).
The soul has a wider awareness, as it enjoys a broader and more direct connection to Infinite Consciousness/Awareness.
It is more concerned with its long-term growth and evolution and about subjects like love, peace and happiness.
Anita Moorjani (best-selling author and survivor of a Near Death Experience) explains this difference of awareness in her TED Talk as follows:
She likens the ego’s awareness to the range of vision provided by a torch inside a large warehouse.
You can only see whatever the narrow and weak beam of light rests on. The rest of the warehouse remains in darkness.
But when you turn on the floodlights within the warehouse (which she likens to the soul), the entire warehouse is illuminated, at once.
You can now get a better sense of the vastness of the warehouse, and of where everything is.
This difference is literally ‘night and day.’
Now that we understand the difference in awareness, let’s take a look at some other aspects of this relationship.
Two Perspectives
Since each being is a different point of awareness, each has its own perspective or point of view.
The following analogy from Bashar does a good job clarifying the difference between the two perspectives.
According to this analogy, the soul is the self that is on the mountain top and has a bird’s eye view. It sees the bigger picture.
The ego, on the other hand, is in the valley and has a comparatively limited view.
It can only see what is immediately in front of it.
Why Does It Matter?
‘Why does this matter, and what does any of it have to do with creating a happier life?’ you might ask.
The simple answer is that being stuck in an ego perspective causes a lot of unnecessary suffering.
There are two reasons why this happens:
Levels of Awareness
The ego can get so bogged down in the details that it loses sight of the bigger picture.
So, when something relatively small goes wrong, we tend to get fixated on what happened.
We start to believe that our world has ended and suffer greatly as a result of experiencing anger or heartache.
But the reality is that although it seems like a big deal at the time, none of this will matter in a few days or months.
So learning to maintain a balance of the two perspectives can prevent the unnecessary suffering.
Guidance
Our soul sees the bigger picture and is constantly guiding us to the fulfilment of our dreams and desires.
But the soul is gentle and only whispers…
So, when we’re stuck in ego awareness, there’s too much noise due to the ego’s mental chatter and we can’t hear what the soul’s whispers.
There’s also too much rationalising and doubting. So even when we notice the subtle signs, we choose to ignore them.
And we lose our way.
For example, let’s say I’m looking for a job. Both ego and soul want to help.
My soul urges me to accept an invitation to go out with friends that evening. This is because it knows that I will meet someone there who is looking to hire someone exactly like me.
But my ego doesn’t have this knowledge, and so it tells me to stay home and keep looking for jobs instead.
And just like that, I miss a huge opportunity to get what I want and in a fun way!
And I end up having to work harder, for longer, and with more fear, uncertainty, frustration and heartache.
All, when I could have had a pleasant evening with friends and come away with a job!
How Does the Soul Communicate With the Ego?
Now that we understand a little more about the nature of the relationship between the ego and the soul, let’s look at some of the ways in which the soul will communicate with us, to offer helpful guidance.
Intuition
Intuition, is sometimes called ‘gut instinct,’ and can be described as a strong sense of ‘knowing.’
But what sets this knowing apart from other knowing?
It’s the fact the feeling is strong, even though there might be no logical reason, or evidence to support it.
We’ve all been there–where we just knew.
On to the next!
Emotion
Both teachers relate emotions to guidance, although they do it in slightly different ways.
Abraham teaches that our emotions are a guidance system and actually refers to it as the ’emotional guidance system.’
They explain that when we think and act in accordance to what our soul knows, we feel good, emotionally.
So, for example, if I feel good about something I did, this tells me that I am on the same page as my soul.
This in turn, tells me that I am on the right track.
But the opposite is also true (bad feelings = I am off track).
So, by following the trail of good/better feeling thoughts, I can understand how my soul views the situation.
This tells me whether I’m heeding their guidance and if I’m on my way to what I want in life.
It’s like the hot’ and ‘cold’ game (where we guide someone by telling them whether they’re ‘hot’ or ‘cold’).
Bashar, teaches something similar when he urges us to always follow our ‘highest excitement’.
He says this excitement is guidance from our soul, leading us to the manifestation of our desires.
The term ‘excitement’ here could even mean something loosely related to excitement, such as curiosity, or eagerness.
Other Signs and Physical Manifestations
I would go so far as to include synchronicities (‘meaningful coincidences’) and some physical manifestations as part of this communication.
For example, when I had the experience relating to my brother who had passed, there was strong positive emotion.
But there was also physical evidence in the form of a photograph, received the same day.
The fact that I didn’t normally hear from my friend who sent me the picture, was also relevant.
See my post, ‘A Message From Beyond the Veil‘ for more details.
How Do You Allow A Strong Connection with Your Soul?
As physical extensions of the non-physical, our connection with our soul is already established when we incarnate.
And from what I have learned, we can never truly sever this connection. So, we’re always connected to this part of ourselves.
However, we do have the ability to diminish this connection.
But the good news is that we can also choose to improve our connection at any time.
So while there is nothing we need to do to create a connection, we can always act to allow more of this connection at any time.
Going back to the teachings of Abraham, it’s clear that feeling good the key to allowing a stronger connection.
They say that we enter the ‘receptive mode,’ when we think thoughts and take actions that make us feel good.
And while we’re in the receptive mode, we can better perceive the guidance that the soul is offering to us.
So, what are some of the things we could do to enter the receptive mode? Anything that makes us feel good.
For most of us, it would include things like:
- having a nap;
- meditating/quieting the mind;
- walking in nature;
- focussing on thoughts of love and appreciation;
- laughter etc.
And with Bashar’s teachings, following our highest excitement is the way to allow the connection between ego and soul.
He points out that the highest excitement may not lead directly to the destination, but could be a step along the way.
For example, following our highest excitement could be to take a walk to the beach at the time.
But experiencing the beach may not be the real reason we’re being nudged to go.
Who we might meet, or what we might see on the way could be what’s really important, and what we’re being led to.
Ego Vs Soul?
Before closing I’d like to clear up an important point:
I no longer choose to believe that there is any competition between the ego and the soul, or that one is necessarily better than the other.
I used to be an ego-basher, back in the day and I had my reasons.
But I’ve come to realise, that at this time, an Ego Vs Soul outlook causes more problems than it solves for me.
I’m stuck with my ego, whether I like it or not. So there’s just no point in being at war with it.
That doesn’t mean that I think we should let the ego run wild.
Quite the opposite!
I believe that the ego is something that we should try to tame and keep under control.
Ego and Soul – A Harmonious Cooperation
Rather than persisting with an Ego Vs Soul mindset, I’ve come to realise that marrying the soul and the ego holds the key to my happiness, while in physical form.
This is because neither one alone can give me what I want, which is a fulfilling life experience.
Bashar’s analogies make it clear that both the ego and the soul have a role to play, and are ideally suited for their particular roles.
But it’s equally clear that they can only accomplish their overall mission by working together.
Abraham offers an even kinder view of the ego.
They state (emphatically) that those of us in physical form are ‘extensions of Source, on the leading edge of creation.’
They make it clear that Source benefits immensely through our experiences (including those of the ego) here in physical form.
I think their point is that that ego is not an inferior, to be maligned and tolerated, but a vital player in the expansion of the universe. And there’s some sense in thinking that way.
As amazing as the soul is, it can’t have a physical experience without a physical body.
It can’t taste ice cream or feel the rush of making love.
You need a physical body (and perhaps an ego mind that goes with it) to do that.
Similarly, while the physical body and ego mind are all we need to participate in this physical experience, we know the ego can be fearful, divisive and limited in its outlook.
And so, it makes for a terrible master.
But once tamed, it can become a useful servant of the soul.
So it’s best to accept the fact that we’re stuck with the ego while we’re here and do our best to keep it in its proper place.
Ultimately then, we come to understand that we can create a much more joyful and fulfilling life experience by taming the ego, while simultaneously tapping into the guidance that our wise soul is always willing to offer.
And we move from Ego Vs Soul to Ego AND Soul.
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