Love is much more than romance or affection. It encompasses many other positive states and feelings including passion, enthusiasm and care. Love is truly our superpower and living from the heart and the soul is the key to unleashing this phenomenal power.
I’ve always liked Michael Jackson. In fact, I was such a fan that the very first piece of music I ever bought was a tape with music from his Victory Tour with the Jacksons.
His talent for music, dance and choreography were stellar and beyond comparison, and that alone made him special in my eyes.
But his kindness and compassion put him in a different league altogether.
He was not just a brilliant artist and entertainer. He was a gift to humanity.
I was just a kid when ‘We Are the World’ came out, but the song and the message behind it will stay with me forever.
Add to this the meaning behind the lyrics to some of his songs such as ‘Man in the Mirror,’ ‘Heal the World’ and ‘Earth Song,’ and you quickly understand why he meant so much to so many throughout the world.
It was plain to see that he cared very deeply for our planet, its people and for all the creatures that lived on it.
So for me, watching the movie was a treat, as it reminded me of the wonderful person that he was.
But what stood out for me in this movie wasn’t Michael Jackson at all.
It wasn’t even the actors, or the wonderful job that the creators of the movie had done.
It was something totally unexpected. It was someone that I didn’t even know about. And that person was Bill Bray, the man who had been Michael’s bodyguard since Michael was a child.
When I left the cinema, the dominant thoughts on my mind were about Bill Bray: how decent a human being he was and how kind and supportive he had been to Michael.
So I had to look him up when I got home.
But there wasn’t much about him.
There were some write ups (linked below) and even a few videos featuring images of Bill put up by other people, but there was nothing in the nature of what you’d expect: no ‘tell all’ biography, no magazine photoshoot, and not even one single interview!
A man who had known Michael since he was a child, travelled the world with him and seen every aspect of Michael’s life for decades…nothing!
But what I did see, only confirmed what I’d already learned: when the whole world was ready to either profit from Michael or tear him down, Bill was always there to do the opposite.
A quiet and stabilising presence, he was someone who never wanted to take but was there to give: to watch over Michael, keep him safe and be a father to him.
And what a beautiful thing that is!
I am so very grateful to that movie, and to the people who created it, for introducing me to the wonderful human being called Bill Bray.
Thank you so much Bill for being there for Michael and for being a shining example of what it means to be a decent human.
Michael is the undisputed King of Pop, but you Sir, have won a special place in my heart reserved for absolute legends.
I hope that you’re both together again, in heaven.
P.S. This video on Youtube contains lots of photos that show the closeness and the connection these two people shared:
Every human wants to be loved. And pretty much every human knows this.
But what most don’t know (and I didn’t either, until recently) is that we humans have an equal need to give love.
We may not be aware of this at a conscious level. But it’s still there.
And when we act on this need and feed it, by giving love, attention and care, it strengthens us, as much as it does those who receive it.
This is because giving love energises us. And it gives us purpose.
Our egos may try to hide this truth from us. And we may live in a world that encourages living from the ego.
But we’re still children of the Light, and it is in our nature to love.
And so, giving love is a basic human need. Just like breathing.
But unlike breathing, when we give love, everyone benefits!
Take this example:
Animal Programme at Allendale Prison
Officials at Allendale Prison in South Carolina thought of offering inmates the opportunity of adopting cats and dogs from nearby shelters.
These were animals that were otherwise going to be ‘put to sleep’.
They called it the ‘MeowMates MuttMates Programme.’ : )
Some people worried that the inmates (many of whom were violent offenders) would treat these animals cruelly, or even harm them.
But to everyone’s surprise, the opposite happened!
The big, hairy, and even scary, men became proud and affectionate pet fathers!
They are reported as beaming with pride about their pets and their roles as carers for these pets.
One man describes how having to care for another being and having it rely on him created a shift within that changed the way he thought, unlike anything else had done before.
He goes on to say:
‘I’ve been incarcerate since I was 17 years old in environments where the only thing I needed to look out for is self.
So to put everything I wanted to a side and say I have to focus on this four ounce kitten…it melts a lot of the selfishness out of guys.’
And as another inmate makes clear, saving the lives of these animals gave many of these men a second chance, and helped to save their own lives from being wasted through a lack of purpose.
Let’s Make Love Cool Again!
As I’ve written before on this blog, love is much more than romance or affection.
It encompasses many other positive states and feelings including passion, enthusiasm and care.
Love makes us strong and it truly is our superpower, and giving love is the key to unleashing its power.
So if you’re reading this, please help to make love and kindness cool again.
I don’t profess to know how you should bring up your child.
To the best of my understanding, your child chose you, even before incarnating, because they believed you would be the perfect parent for them in this lifetime.
But from being a child and a parent myself, and having been close to other human beings who have shared their experiences of being children and parents, one thing has become clear to me: children need our love and acceptance, more than anything else in life.
You may have been led to believe that studies, sports, careers, money, legacies and teaching them ‘how behave’ are the most important things, and I don’t blame you. These things can be immensely helpful to smoothening their path through life.
But they are a poor substitute for the love and acceptance of a parent.
And all those worldly things, if imposed on them at the expense of their self-worth and self-acceptance, will harm them more than you can ever imagine.
Forget the rhyme about sticks and stones. The truth is that even words can and do hurt. They have the power to scar children for life.
A child who is told that they are ‘not right’, ‘not normal’ or ‘not good enough’ will go through life believing this to be true. As a consequence, they will create a life experience that mirrors these ideas.
The irony will be that they will feel unworthy and undeserving of the very things that you want them to have and enjoy in life.
They will have relationships in which they are made to feel not good enough. And they will meet failure and poverty at every turn.
And so, in your eagerness to do good by them, you will have unwittingly become the cause of their greatest suffering.
And although you might work, strive and sacrifice on their behalf to the point of exhaustion, it is likely that the thing they will remember most clearly about you, whenever they think of you, will be the hurt and pain you caused them.
Please don’t let it be this way.
As the American abolitionist and statesman Frederick Douglass famously said:
‘It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.’
So teach and guide your child by all means, but don’t hurt or attack them.
It is up to you, as the grown adult, to regulate your feelings and deal with these in an appropriate way.
Your child is not your punching bag.
Let your love and acceptance of them as individuals be what shines through all your words and actions, and not your anger or frustration.
In the words of the Sufi poet Rumi:
‘Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
And above all else, let your child know on a daily basis how much you love them, and how much they mean to you.
Let them know that you love and accept them, no matter what.
And don’t just think it. Tell them and show them. Spell it out to them.
Let it be the one thing they know without a doubt about you and their relationship with you.
And if, by some chance, you’ve gone about it any other way, don’t lose heart. You’re not alone. And you can fix it and make things better.
Love, and time, heals all wounds. So it’s never too late.
But you have to take the first step. You have to apologise.
And you might have to be a little patient and give them time to process things.
There is a world of children and grown people who used to be children that are hurting and suffering. And they may very well end up doing to their children what their parents did to them.
And there is a world of parents who are hurting because their children are rejecting them and distancing themselves in adulthood.
So much unnecessary suffering…
But you have the power to change this. And you can do something about it right now.
Please accept my sincere apologies if anything I have said offends you. That was never my aim.
I am not a saint, or perfect in any way, and I don’t pretend to be. I make mistakes every single day, though I’d love not to.
But I can’t stand by and not share what I know to be true, when it can help to prevent unnecessary suffering. And this is my only reason for writing.
I wish you love, peace and happiness, and the close and loving relationship with your child that you want and deserve,
‘When you finally learn that a person’s behaviour has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.’ ––Allison Ars
Much of the conflict and suffering in our lives has to do with other people.
Often, we hold grievances and resentment against others for something they did that we perceive as hurtful, unfair or dishonest.
We continue to suffer long after the actual event because we cannot let go of what they did, or forgive them.
On the one hand, this is entirely fair, because we have a duty to love and care for ourselves. In fact, some would argue that this (being an aspect of self-preservation) is our primary duty.
Yet on the other hand, unwanted suffering does not serve us, or aid in our self-preservation.
So, being able to understand other people’s motivations, forgive them, and release them (and ourselves) from any further negative feelings is helpful to creating happiness and attracting good things into our lives.
This is not always easy to do, but there is something that can help us make it so.
But first, let’s look at what usually happens in these situations and how we usually start off on the wrong foot.
The ‘Wrong Perception’ Trap
One of the biggest barriers to forgiveness is our perception of the situation, and the actions and motivations of the other person.
When facing a situation that we find distressing, we might often perceive the situation as one where:
The other person knew what they were doing and how it would affect us;
They intended to do what they did and to have that effect on us; and
They did so for no other reason other than to cause that hurt and to have that intended effect.
We default to the understanding that their intentions are malicious.
But this is often very far from the truth!
And so, our wrong perception of their actions and the situation; and all the pain, anger and resentment tied up in it, is therefore unnecessary.
For example, they may not have been aware of how they were behaving, if they were in a state of great panic or stress.
They might not know how we might perceive their actions or how it might affect us.
For example, we might be more sensitive than they are and things they consider ‘small’ might affect us deeply. But they have no way of knowing this until we find a way to let them know.
There could even be a situation where we were already wary of them because of something that happened before. And so, we interpret their present action in light of our negative view of them.
Again, our perception would be very different (and negative) as a result.
Perception leads to judgment and judgment leads to a lack of love or compassion for the other person, so the wrong perception is often harmful and damaging to us and others.
Awareness Leads to Compassion
But what if we knew that the other person was going through something difficult? What if we knew and understood how this was affecting them?
Our perception would change instantly.
We might sympathise; make allowance, or even reach out and try to help them.
And what follows the situation would also change drastically.
Instead of disliking each other, we might actually become closer as people, or even become good friends.
The Story of the Drunk Man on the Train
There was a story in the original ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul‘ book that illustrates this point clearly.
It went something like this:
The man narrating the story was an American living in Japan. He was a trained martial artist.
When he was on the train one day, a drunken man got on and was behaving badly.
The drunken man’s behaviour disturbed the peace within the carriage and made the other passengers feel uncomfortable.
The narrator was thinking about tackling the drunken man, using his martial arts skills.
But just before he could do this, an older man who was also on the train, intervened. He spoke to the drunken man kindly and diffused the situation.
Eventually, they all learned that the drunken man’s wife had died, and that he had no job and was homeless.
When the narrator left the train, the drunken man was on the floor, sobbing, with his head on the older man’s lap.
This completely changed the narrator’s perception of the drunken man, and the situation, and he was glad that the older man’s kindness had saved the day.
This story holds a powerful lesson for all of us, which is that whenever we’re faced with the hurtful behaviour of others, we should default to assuming that they’re going through something difficult in their own lives and that this behaviour is the result of their struggle.
With this new awareness, we are better equipped to resolve the situation amicably and secure lasting peace and happiness for all concerned.
I would like to end this post with this quote by Ian Maclaren:
‘Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.’
‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.’ ––Rumi
So, you’ve read my previous post, understood the phenomenal power of love and want to know how you can tap into this superpower.
The truth is, you always knew, But I’m more than happy to provide a reminder.
The key to tapping into the power of love is to live from the heart.
Love is Our Default State
Just like happiness, love is our default state and is always there, ready to bubble up inside us.
We just have to remove (or reduce) the things that take us away from love.
And there is just one culprit that is responsible for all the unloving thoughts, feelings and states we feel: it’s our ego mind.
The Ego: The Troublemaker
As I mentioned in another post (Ego Vs Soul), the ego is mostly fear-based. And the ego also loves attention.
It wants to feel important. And so, if allowed, it will completely hijack and dominate our life experience.
The ego is the culprit that is responsible for the endless stream of fear-based chatter that many of us mistake for ourselves.
All the judgment, criticism, comparisons and self-loathing come from this one source.
So there is no way we should be letting this troublemaker run our lives!
But many of us do, (myself included).
Living From the Heart and Soul
Living from the heart and soul is the key to tapping into the power of love.
This requires two things:
Being aware of the ego’s chattering and learning to minimise it; and
Cultivating a stronger connection with the heart and the soul.
The soul is who we really are. It is wise beyond anything the ego could ever dream of, and it speaks to us through our hearts, in the language of love and intuition.
How to Minimise the Ego
Do the things that cultivate a stronger connection with the heart and the soul. See below.
How to Cultivate a Stronger Connection with the Heart and the Soul
This is the ‘meat and potatoes’ of this post. It’s also the fun part!
Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things, in no particular order:
Meditate
Practice self-love
Practice gratitude
Practice appreciation
Practice forgiveness
Do something creative
Exercise
Listen to uplifting music
Sing
Dance
Play
Spend time with children and go into their world
Play an instrument
Make art
Make love
Hug someone
Spend time in nature
Spend time with your family and friends
Spend time with your pet
Spend time daydreaming
I’ll be writing posts about many of the above, so if you wanted any detailed instructions, just hang tight.
Love = Happiness?
You probably noticed that the above things are also the very things that promote happiness and wellbeing.
And so, we do well when we align ourselves with the way things work and go with the flow, rather than struggling upstream against it.
Over the years, I have slipped up and done less and less of these things. And my life experience changed to reflect this.
I won’t go into detail but let’s just say that it sucked to be me between 2019 and 2025!
But I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m back with a vengeance, to live, practice and write about the things I now know are hugely important.
But moving on… I have a surprise for you.
I saved the very best for last!
The Very Best Way to Tap into the Power of Love
And drumroll, please…
The very best way to tap into the power of love is to give love.
Giving love is the best way to feel more of it and bring it more into our lives.
We need to love. And we need to give love.
As humans, we come programmed to love and care.
Leon–A Love Story About a Hitman and His Plant
Ever watch the movie, Leon? It’s a story about a hit man.
Leon is a solitary character–no real friends or family. Just the guy that acts as the go-between and handles the business side of things for him.
But even Leon had to love something.
And so he fawned and fussed over a plant.
Even on his busy hitman schedule, Leon took a great deal of time and care to clean its leaves. And he always made sure the plant got enough water and sunlight.
My apologies to young Mr. C. Darwin, but I strongly believe that this capacity for love, and our need for love, is actually what allows us to be successful as a species.
How to Give Love
Care. Care. Care!
Care about your dreams and desires. Care about your happiness and wellbeing. Care about your hobbies and passions. Care about wanting to serve others. Care about making things better in some way.
And give.
Give. Give. Give!
Give thanks. Give kindness. Give help and support. Give care. Give forgiveness. Give patience. Give attention. Give thought to the things that really matter in life.
Give, but not from a place of sacrifice or resentment.
So self-care comes first. And you must give to yourself before you can give of yourself (that’s an original by the way).
But giving works!
Lynne Mc Taggart, author of the Intention Experiment and many other great books, ran intention groups.
She called these the ‘Power of Eight‘ groups, as there were eight participants in each group.
The aim of these groups was to send healing intention to people who were unwell.
But what shocked Lynne and her participants was that, even though they were focussed on giving, they all ended up getting some sort of unexpected benefit back in return.
A lady with chronic pain had her pain disappear.
Another lady, who had retinal damage, had her vision restored to 20/20!
Lynne calls it the ‘mirror effect’ because what we give out is being reflected back into our life.
And that, my friends, is the power of giving!
I will close this post with a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer:
The more we demand from the universe, the more is demanded of us. The more we give away, the more is given to us.
Dr. Dyer clarified by pointing out that the Universe listens to what we say and the Law of Attraction responds in kind.
So when we say ‘Gimme, gimme, gimme’, the Universe also says, ‘Gimme, gimme, gimme,’ back to us.
But when we say ‘How may I serve?’ the Universe says ‘How may I serve?’ to us instead!
